If Noah’s Flood hadn’t come till the 21st Century.....
And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark." In fear and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the ark. "Remember," said the Lord, "you must complete the Ark and bring everything aboard in one year."
Exactly one year later, fierce storm clouds covered the earth and all the seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting on his porch weeping. "Noah!" He shouted. "Where is the Ark?" "Lord, please forgive me," cried Noah. "I did my best, but there were big problems."
"First, I had to get a building warrant, and your plans did not meet the building codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans. Then I got into a fight with the Health and Safety Executive over whether or not the Ark needed a sprinkler system and approved floatation devices. Then, my neighbour objected, claiming I was violating planning laws by building the Ark in my front garden, so I had to get special dispensation from the city’s planning department."
"Then, I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the Forestry Commission that I really needed the wood to save the owls. However, the police won't let me take the 2 owls. The joiners formed a union and went on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the TUC before anyone would pick up a saw or hammer. Now, I have 16 joiners on the Ark, but still no owls."
And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark." In fear and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the ark. "Remember," said the Lord, "you must complete the Ark and bring everything aboard in one year."
Exactly one year later, fierce storm clouds covered the earth and all the seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting on his porch weeping. "Noah!" He shouted. "Where is the Ark?" "Lord, please forgive me," cried Noah. "I did my best, but there were big problems."
"First, I had to get a building warrant, and your plans did not meet the building codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans. Then I got into a fight with the Health and Safety Executive over whether or not the Ark needed a sprinkler system and approved floatation devices. Then, my neighbour objected, claiming I was violating planning laws by building the Ark in my front garden, so I had to get special dispensation from the city’s planning department."
"Then, I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the Forestry Commission that I really needed the wood to save the owls. However, the police won't let me take the 2 owls. The joiners formed a union and went on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the TUC before anyone would pick up a saw or hammer. Now, I have 16 joiners on the Ark, but still no owls."
Just Put on a Happy Faith.....